Character Sketch #5

Kubla Khan once wanted to conquer his garden. The bean plant grew steadily from the strength of the sun and the consistency of water. Maybe too much water but the plant didn't mind and decided to emerge from the soil. The epigeal plant struggled with the thought of longer stems and multiple leaves; however, Kubla would not hear of such imprecations dashing down the disposition to meet the sun. And anyway there was going to be a bug party. Very soon. Kubla couldn't stop singing at this point because the bean plant had knit him a comforter out of crow's feathers. No, actually, Kubla couldn't stop singing because his knee had begun whistling a tune for the bug party. This was contradictory because Kubla's plants and Kubla's bugs would obviously not get along very well due to their differences at birth. Also because the bugs were aphids and probably wanted to eat the leaves off the bean plant. I guess that's what happens at parties.

"I shall have to get a glass of water then make my new bed," said Kubla Kahn, king of the badlands. He did this and immediately felt better (he had been feeling bad because the bugs, in a state of agitated jubilance, had all rushed from the garden into his rose beds (instead of hopping the fence they had torn it down with miniature pick-axes) though they hadn't eaten anything they certainly did manage to fluster Kubla and leave immature notes reading "the buggy has flown the coop" and "SCRAM" and "shut up, four eyes" and "get lost, two-legs").